If you follow me on twitter you might have noticed that in my bio I mention having a positive mindset. Rather that being one of those people that preach about being positive all of the time, I have found that I’ve managed to make myself a lot happier by just changing my perspective on a few things.
About five years ago when I was still at school I would find that I was often negative (and no I wasn’t just being a teenager!) I wasn’t one of those people that sat around gloomily, but I would often have unhappy thoughts in my head. I now realise that these thoughts made me feel negative a lot of the time.
I’ve outlined four areas below where I find that negativity crops up. Don’t get me wrong – we all love a good moan sometimes, but I have found that if you force positivity upon yourself it becomes a lot harder to remain negative!
Negative people in your life
In my childhood I’ve experienced certain people that are negative. Their perspectives and actions were negative and impacted upon the experiences and opinions that I live with today. Also at school (especially a girls’ school) it is common to be surrounded by negative people, or people that have negative things to say that can wilt your positivity.
I have found that by choosing to not have any involvement with people who have negative actions, or make me feel bad about myself because of their perspectives and actions I feel much happier with myself. For example, I would much rather have two close friends that are lovely and always make me feel good, than lots of friends that drain me and make me feel rubbish.
Negative thoughts against negative groups
It is often hard to not generalise about certain groups of people, which is something that I think often comes from school as well. The different cliques and friendship groups can instil the opinion that you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep – but not everyone can be tarred with the same brush.
Negative thoughts towards other people
My mum has always told me that if you spend a lot of your time pointing out the negatives about people in the street etc, that it makes you a paranoid person. She always says that if you spend your time looking at other people and looking for bad things to say about them then you automatically become concious of if people are saying similar things about you. I always find this nugget of wisdom so helpful, and try not to be critical of other people.
Negative thoughts about yourself
This leads on from the previous three points. Potentially this can be the hardest habit to kick. There is no quick fix to this one. I’ve written posts on this before, so feel free to check them out (see fitness tags). The main point is that you will feel much better in all aspects of your life if you gain perspective. When I’m having a bad day I accept that it is normal and try to focus on the positive things about myself and my life in order to stop the negative thoughts from being predominant in my mind.