You probably know that my chosen exercise is swimming, I talked about it here. It usually is a pleasant experience, but recently I’ve come to find myself annoyed at little niggles. I’m going to tell you about a few people that to put it bluntly… really get on my tits!
The one that likes competition.
This fellow doesn’t understand that just because you are in lanes, doesn’t mean you are not competing. They start off by seeming to follow your movements, even having breaks when you do, and setting off at the same time as you. Before you know it, they’ll be smiling over their shoulder at you as they pant by, muttering ‘yes!’ underneath their breath when they reach the finish line.
The one who doesn’t ‘get’ lanes.
This type of person seems to think that ploughing down the middle of the lane is the right thing to do, despite the signs telling you which direction to go in. I wouldn’t mind this person if their eagerness to have their own lane hadn’t resulted in me being kicked in the thigh every time they go past me. I fear that next time it’ll be my nose.
The one who likes overtaking.
This guy is similar to the one above, and will swim alongside you in their determination to overtake you. I wouldn’t mind half the time, but this person is usually going a fast pace in the slow lane, and both you and him would have a wonderful time if he went into the lane he belongs in!
The wave maker/overenthusiastic.
I kind of respect this person. This person puts so much effort into their strokes that they create huge waves as they pass you, making it ten times harder for you to swim, and consequently drowning you with the big wave heading for your face.
This person likes to swim right up your rear, even though you stop to let them pass you many a time. Easily mistaken to be the ‘one who likes overtaking’, this guy likes to just get really close to you. Maybe they are scared of drowning. Or perhaps they have intense emotional issues. Either way, they are one toe away from a kick in the face… oops.
The fondling couple.
These are the worst! Not only do they feel the need to sing ‘My Endless Love’ in the changing rooms (true story), but they spend the next hour groping each other in the pool. Each to their own, except lanes are for SWIMMING. Keep your fondling to the other pool, or even better – the privacy of your own home.