10 Things Learnt in my LTR

 Recently, my long term relationship sadly came to an end towards the end of last year. Whilst I’m in a really good place now, I’ve had plenty of months to reflect and wanted to share the lessons I learnt.

Here’s 10 things I learnt in my LTR…

1. It’s really important to have your own life.

Whilst it felt right at the time, we very much lived merged lives. It’s so easy for this to happen when you live together and live in new places, but I didn’t take the time to carve out my own life and identity which resulted in a lot of soul searching about who I was when it all ended.

2. Just because something is comfortable doesn’t mean its right for you

It’s so easy to fall into a pattern of comfort because it works for you, but I’ve realised that just because something is comfortable doesn’t mean that it’s sustainable in the long term. Sometimes coming out of your comfort zone and doing the things that scare you the most lead to the best experiences and opportunities.#

3. It’s important to live in the moment

As a self confessed organisation freak, I’m always thinking about the future and my next step. This sometimes holds me back though because instead of living in the moment and appreciating the here and now, I’m looking to plan for the future. I’m learning to just breathe and go with the flow.

4. All relationships are a process of growth and learning

 Even though Matt and I have gone our separate ways, I have learnt so much and grown  into the person I am today because of the time we spent together. Whilst in the immediate aftermath it’s hard to see this, looking back I feel hugely grateful that we were both there for each other at exactly the right time.

5. The words ‘always’ and ‘forever’ are pretty loaded words

Everyone is guilty of making promises they can’t keep. I guess I’ve just learnt to take these words with a barrel full of salt when I hear them.

6. Space and time are great for perspective

One month out of it = world is ending. Four months out = a positive outlook and a drive to move forward.

7. We sometimes don’t tell ourselves the truth

Gut feeling is definitely a thing that we don’t give enough credit. Deep down you know when something isn’t right or isn’t as you make it out to be. I’m learning to be more honest with myself about how I feel, and acknowledging those gut feelings rather than silencing them.

8. People we trust aren’t always who we think they are

People change. When things fall apart people do and say hurtful things you’d never expect and you even find yourself doing and saying things you never thought you would. Time and emotion can change a person quite dramatically.

9. It’s better to be alone than bobbing along

I used to be terrified of being on my own, like it was the worst thing in the world. Now I’m realising that being on my own is pretty awesome, and I’d rather be doing this than just letting life pull me along.

10. Life goes on (and don’t forget to wear sunscreen)

I felt like my life’s plans had completely gone out of the window, and I had no idea what to expect. However, life goes on. Time moves and things get easier. It’s just like Baz Luhrman says ‘Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s’.

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